Girls Bore Me

girls bore the living daylights out of me. that’s why i don’t have many girlfriends.

first of all, they’re not into the stuff I’m into to: 

rock

live music

gritty entertainment

occasional recreational drug use

regular or heavy drinking

wacked art

political incorrectness

chronic cursing

generally the girls I know are more into shit like:

smothering their kids

preparing healthy meals

running, cycling, and skiing

starving themselves

oprah (yeah i said it. i dissed O)

and the worst offense of all: chick-only parties. these include candle, jewelry, bag, pampered chef,  wedding and baby showers, and even sex toys (this one wouldn’t be so bad if men were involved).

secondly, girls have been raised to be sweet and charming. to be liked and keep their mouths shut. therefore they play little mind games. say, a girl is pissed. she will give you the silent or short treatment and she won’t tell you why.  she expects you to guess because she’s too nice to tell you the nasty things she’s thinking about your behavior. in fact, if you do guess, she will deny it, but still expect you to change your ways pronto.   now a man, he either accepts things as they are (not nearly as judgemental) or he tells you straight up what is wrong. men like to get it fixed, but only if it’s broken. if only girls could do this.

however, there are some girls i think i could be tight friends with. they include: chelsea handler, sarah silverman, diablo cody, the bloggess, frances mcdormand, rosanna and particia arquette, holly hunter, nurse jackie, drew barrymore, patricia clarkson, any chick bass player, and my friend linda.

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  1. Linda
    January 7, 2010 at 7:40 pm

    We are of the same damn tribe. And girls say things like, “I am not into facebook or twitter because I just don’t have the time.” When really they are too busy planning their next candle, freaken party that no one really wants to go to or maybe they never had any interesting guy friends to chat with or have anything to say that anyone would be interested in reading anyway. Love ya doll face.

  2. January 7, 2010 at 8:38 pm

    was hoping you would read this one. you are mentioned after all. love ya back.

  3. Susan
    January 8, 2010 at 10:57 am

    I will never go to an organized woman’s party where someone is trying to sell me candles or avon. uh, uh. i’m with ya trish. but as i have a young daughter and i work around 5 year olds, i do have to curb the use of the word fuck.

  4. Linda
    January 8, 2010 at 1:17 pm

    You are so cool, very touching!

  5. Janice
    January 8, 2010 at 9:36 pm

    LOVE it. Here’s my take on chicks and candle parties. I’ve gone to only one of these events and it was painful. It was a favor for a friend trying to make some money on the side. I didn’t know any of the women there — most were her family. I got there late and the “hostess” (gag) asked me to tell everyone my name and how I knew my friend. I said, “My name is Janice and I know her from the bar.” Most of the faces in the room looked sticken. I’m thinking, yeah, but you WANTED to come to a candle party. Nuff said.

    P.S. The hostess actually has her husband babysit her candles when she’s not home. I kid you not. Request for upcoming blog topic: the men who marry the girls who bore us.

    Great blog, Patty!

  6. Jenny
    January 9, 2010 at 12:32 am

    I been to plenty of that chick party stuff and don’t like them one bit! I feel the need to drink cause I’m bored then cause I drank too much…I bought too much over priced crap I could have gotten cheaper at TJ-Max!

  7. February 24, 2010 at 3:53 am

    I do like the chick parties where they sell the sex toys!!! Those are fuckin’ sweet!!!!

    • February 24, 2010 at 4:45 am

      def. but how much sweeter if men were included. then it would be welcome to fun zone.

  8. February 26, 2010 at 4:10 am

    Wow….I mean fuck yeah…tell it sister !

  1. January 8, 2010 at 4:57 pm
  2. January 13, 2010 at 6:32 pm
  3. February 17, 2010 at 7:27 pm

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