sibling sex on ice – not nice

February 24, 2010 Leave a comment Go to comments

so the results are in from my poll about who should win the heart of my one true love. and there were two – count em – two fucking votes for evil meghan!

to you two, my diplomatic, responsible blogger response is: “thank you for participating in my poll. i know you cast your vote with much thought and conviction. that’s all i can ask. power to the people.”

and my childish, knee-jerk reaction is: “how could you? off with your heads! and just so you know, the vote was 88% in my favor, so you don’t know jack.”

in my quest to be closer to my OTL, i’ve learned that he’s been traveling. he hasn’t been blogging, but he has tweeted some super hilarious stuff like:

“Is it wrong that I size myself up against every arab I see in the airport? You know…just in case…”

“What is lamer…. A 32 yr old that likes dave matthews band or 32 yr old that likes twilight?”

“A twin of the comic book guy from the simpsons is on my flight from pdx to chicago. He is my new favorite person ever. ”

isn’t he soooo funny? he just tickles me pink. i’ll have to let you know when there is a substantial development with our dalliance. but until then let’s turn to the real business at hand.

like why is this shit allowed in the motherfucking world olympics?

these two are brother and sister, people! and he’s titty-fucking her on ice. granted that takes mad skillz, but it’s between siblings. in the 2010 olympics there are four brother and sister figure skating couples. i don’t know their names but i do know they all share the same surname. color me cross-eyed.

c’mon, in couples skating there are crotches skimming faces, thighs being squeezed, hips held with intensity, deep stares into each other’s eyes … this is foreplay. and choreographed foreplay at that.

this will lead to copulation.

and don’t be all up in my grill that they’re just acting cuz you just lost the debate with that argument. we all know actors are infamous for humping their costars. and that’s fine by me because they’re not fucking blood relatives.

woody allen and soon-yi? fine. ashton kutcher and rumer willis? fine. (okay that didn’t happen yet). all fine as long as you don’t share the same dna.

what’s your take? should this incestuous dance be condoned and celebrated by the world or should we let the sibling lovers pretend to be just skating partners because they’ve worked so hard and do it oh so beautifully?

  1. February 24, 2010 at 2:08 am

    Pattypunker it is perfectly normal, they are appear to be dressed in Mid-Western US style clothing, that kind of thing happens there all the time there!

    Would have been weirder if they were NOT brother and sister!

    Are they married?

    • February 24, 2010 at 5:46 am

      excellent point! i don’t think they’re married, i think only mormons let siblings marry.

  2. Linda
    February 24, 2010 at 3:15 am

    That is it! You are the officially the funniest person I know and I do know a lot of funny people. My GOD that was good!

    • February 24, 2010 at 4:48 am

      i will pay you back with sexual favors for this love, linda.

  3. February 24, 2010 at 3:51 am

    Ok, first off, guy sending the tweets…….def funny.

    Olympic sibs……why the hell did you have to pick the ones who are dressed like they are from KY? I am taking that shit personally girrrrrl. Okay, not really, since I have never been attracted to my brothers. Iccccckkkkkkk!!!!! Yeah, the brother sister teams are grosser than hell. I mean, really, could your parents not find you a partner??? Really??!!!

    Too bad too, he’s pretty hot, I would have totally had a go at him, if it weren’t for the whole awkward, “I used to do my sister” conversation that you know would eventually be coming.

    • February 24, 2010 at 4:47 am

      bwahaaa! they are dressed like that, aren’t they? but you’re way hawt and could win a sister-loving dude. and those dudes are committed.

  4. February 24, 2010 at 5:22 am

    Oh no!

  5. JohnnyB
    February 24, 2010 at 3:38 pm

    Very funny, per usual.

  6. Linda
    February 25, 2010 at 4:03 am

    patty punker :
    high praise coming from you.

    That is a rave from JB. He b no sycophant. 🙂

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