Archive for the ‘ashton kutcher’ Category

sibling sex on ice – not nice

February 24, 2010 10 comments

so the results are in from my poll about who should win the heart of my one true love. and there were two – count em – two fucking votes for evil meghan!

to you two, my diplomatic, responsible blogger response is: “thank you for participating in my poll. i know you cast your vote with much thought and conviction. that’s all i can ask. power to the people.”

and my childish, knee-jerk reaction is: “how could you? off with your heads! and just so you know, the vote was 88% in my favor, so you don’t know jack.”

in my quest to be closer to my OTL, i’ve learned that he’s been traveling. he hasn’t been blogging, but he has tweeted some super hilarious stuff like:

“Is it wrong that I size myself up against every arab I see in the airport? You know…just in case…”

“What is lamer…. A 32 yr old that likes dave matthews band or 32 yr old that likes twilight?”

“A twin of the comic book guy from the simpsons is on my flight from pdx to chicago. He is my new favorite person ever. ”

isn’t he soooo funny? he just tickles me pink. i’ll have to let you know when there is a substantial development with our dalliance. but until then let’s turn to the real business at hand.

like why is this shit allowed in the motherfucking world olympics?

these two are brother and sister, people! and he’s titty-fucking her on ice. granted that takes mad skillz, but it’s between siblings. in the 2010 olympics there are four brother and sister figure skating couples. i don’t know their names but i do know they all share the same surname. color me cross-eyed.

c’mon, in couples skating there are crotches skimming faces, thighs being squeezed, hips held with intensity, deep stares into each other’s eyes … this is foreplay. and choreographed foreplay at that.

this will lead to copulation.

and don’t be all up in my grill that they’re just acting cuz you just lost the debate with that argument. we all know actors are infamous for humping their costars. and that’s fine by me because they’re not fucking blood relatives.

woody allen and soon-yi? fine. ashton kutcher and rumer willis? fine. (okay that didn’t happen yet). all fine as long as you don’t share the same dna.

what’s your take? should this incestuous dance be condoned and celebrated by the world or should we let the sibling lovers pretend to be just skating partners because they’ve worked so hard and do it oh so beautifully?