Archive for the ‘Cuz I Know My Shit’ Category

priestess of depravity

March 3, 2010 13 comments

i received the most epic comment (reflection, really) on my last post about hot foreign dudes i’d like to schtup. it was from my college buddy, matt attanasio, and because of its sheer brilliance, i’m stealing it and posting it on MY BLOG. it’s also easier to steal than it is to write my own shit. i’ve put my favorite passages in bold, so you can clearly see why matt is the shizzle.

matt attanasio looking devil-red

also, i’m finally up and running on my new site. i don’t have a new design yet, but everything has been transferred over with the help of wpbeginner. so huge thanks to them. they’re full of rad goodness. i did some of the work and updated my tagline and my about page, so check it out. subscribe. add it to your faves. love me madly.  and here’s matt:

“It dawned on me last evening as I was tossing and turning through another sleepless night. It’s been days wrestling with this monster, this endless demon that could only be slayed by writing about it which will hopefully put it to it’s final rest. I have finally figured out the mystery, the key unlocking that great chastity belt in the sky. The reason, yes the true reason why Patty Punker has gone through boxes of Energizer’s lusting after Hugh Grant.

I must admit, it bemused and befuddled me why this priestess of depravity would even have an interest, no less a burning passion for this seemingly uber-conservative upper crust and IMHO utterly boring Brit turned Hollywood actor. Lets face it, Hugh is the King of Swoon for all those prissily dressed nice girls who love their boyfriends and kiss their mommy and daddys before they go to bed at night. The chicks who love the dare I say “chick flicks” that endlessly play on the Starz channels when there’s no testosterone in the room. But Patty? She would never fall for such frivolity. She would never fall for such a proper dull gent as he. She would never be interested in such a screen persona. Or would she? That’s it! It’s just a persona. Maybe there was another side to the dapper Mr. Grant. A dual persona; kind of like the Mormon Dual Jesus, but not really.

Than I remembered a tale from years ago. A tale so sordid that I tried to expunge it from overly obsessed mind. Apparently, I have not been successful. Wasn’t our hero arrested on Hollywood Boulevard for soliciting a hooker? Wait a minute, it wasn’t just an everyday washed up 35 year old crackwhore looking for another fix. It was a transvestite hooker. Oh, the sordity, the depravity not to mention the utter stupidity.

It all started to make sense to me. Patty wasn’t swooning over the Hugh that most of us see on the silver screen. She was swooning over the “other Hugh”, the reckless and raunchy Hugh that she could plainly see behind that snarky smile of his when he’s dazzling some on- screen harlot. I can finally rest now because life is once again making sense. Patty’s lust is justified; and the world is a better place for it.”


men who shop at express

February 5, 2010 Leave a comment
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Categories: Cuz I Know My Shit